Bars, Bargains and Freezingly cold!

Hello world from FunnyNotesBlog!!

So today I asked my seven year old daughter to read my blog name, or to say - former blog name. I think you now understand why I changed it. This name is actually my daughters idea, and being a bit superstitious, I feel the name is lucky.


Reentry to a club: Success!!

We already live a year and a half in Moscow. And I have to proudly say that I managed to get two times into a club, after my misfortune this summer. Yes it was the same club both times, but lets not split hairs. The club was actually great, because you have a place to have dinner and a place to dance, so after few drinks I was ready to hit the floor. I am just not sure if I got old, or if the DJ was bad, but it was a REAL workout. First, the music was like techno dance fast, and just as I was starting to catch the rhythm, it shifted to slow-motion but still keeping the techno beat. Or maybe you lost me here, since the names for the music genres come from a decade ago. The point is, after ten minutes, every part of my body ached and I had to get another glass of wine sitting down.

Cutting down prices like a machine!

I also discovered a new passion: bargaining. Moscow is the best place to do it. No, not in the center. Tried last New Year. I bought fifteen shirts with Putin in different poses for friends in Croatia, and I though I would get at least five percent discount. But no, stone called Russian lady just pretended she did not even hear my question. This year I was smarter and I got some intel from few friends. The place to go to is Izmailovsky market.

The first good thing was that me and my friend went during the week and it was minus fifteen outside. So as market is outside and everybody is at work I knew we had a good shot at getting really low prices. For me, it was going back to my young days, working at different kind of promotions, dragging people by their arms - that you have just what they miss. First, near the entrance was a guy with scarfs. HOW MUCH!!! 500 RUBLES FOR A SCARF!!!! I immediately started to explain how I come from a very poor country and I need it. End price 350 rubles (Last year, I bought same scarf in the city center for only 1500 rubles!!!). And I was just getting started. Best experience was with a guy who tried to sell me Matryoshkas for Christmas tree. I really did not plan to buy any. But we got into a long discussion about which country is poorer - Croatia or Russia. In the end he even invited me to stay eat lunch with him at his stand, since he saw I do look a bit out of money. But he also managed to charm me into buying his Matryoshkas, but for a smaller price. In the end I do come from a country half the size of Moscow.

I had so much fun that I dragged my husband and kids just a week after to go on Sunday. I saw it is going to be minus eighteen, so more bargains possible. And we did well, although not all the Russian sellers understood my jokes. One lady said that for Ushanka, which my daughter wanted, we need to pay 3500 rubles. I immediately told her to give me for 1000 rubles and that I will write her name on the hat and market her around the world. Her face stayed seriously frozen (and not from the cold) so we left.

Just above the market is a wonderful place with museums and different attractions for kids and grownups. In the end we chose a blacksmith, who was freezing in the square. He made a dragon tooth together with our kids. And I truly admire him. Because standing there whole day and being friendly is not an easy task. I did ask him if he is still there when temperatures go to minus thirty. He said - yes and then explained in Russian that he drinks something from the pot. I am not sure if he said tea or vodka, or maybe both?.

In the end we took our loot and headed home. fingers nearly black from
frost. And if anybody knows great places to bargain in Moscow, please let me know. I am even thinking of offering the guys at the stands to help them sell. I just love that simple selling talk and the adrenaline when you score!!!!

Wild night out in Moscow?!?!?!

For a long time I did not go out properly. Actually it was even before my daughter was born so more than seven years ago. Not that I never went out in seven years but it was more of a beer or two and then home to bed. So being in Moscow, world party city, it was the right time to try it again. Also big help was a really good friend I met in Moscow. A half Russian half expat lady and a real party girl. Compared to her I was like a pensioned old lady.

So we set a date, a Friday. I was really excited felt like a kid preparing to go out. With a major issue - what to wear. My wardrobe is not exactly a party type. After few minutes I found what to wear, because as I no longer know how to prepare for going out it takes much less time, and also I have no other party people to compare myself with. After two dresses I decided to go with black trousers and a blouse. Why I am telling you about my dress options you will come to realise at the end of this Blog.

My friend booked us a place for dinner at nine, since in Moscow, people go to clubs around two am. It is probably the same in all parts of the world but as I was not in that circle it all seemed so new to me. After dinner we would go to a club called Jagger. Another Russian friend recommended it as a place where you can get in and there is some good music for dancing. Apparently in Moscow in all the hip clubs they have face checks - meaning at the entrance they decide who they let in and who not without any specification or explanation.

The night started great, we took a Metro to the restaurant had some good food and a really funny looking and strange tasting healthy desert. But all in all was great. We started a night with two glasses of prosecco and I was feeling twenty-five again.

After the restaurant we walked to an Irish pub next to the club, had another glass of white wine and were getting ready to rock the floor with our crazy dance moves. I wanted to go then to Jagger but my friend convinced me to have a look at another club next to it. So we went, but since it was one am not really many people were in it and nobody was dancing. At that point from the terrace of the club we spotted a short line forming in front of Jagger. There were three bodyguards, completely dressed in black with earpieces, looking quite intimidating but we were ready and decide to go to the club we came for. I was really looking forward to listen to some good music and dance.

So we stood in the line, we were in a great mood, ready to rock the floor. I was so excited I didn't even notice how the ten people standing in the line to the club were dressed. Line was moving slow but steady. And then, SHOCK. We came to the men in black and some lady behind them signed something to the guys and they moved my friend and me both out of the line. We were not allowed to go in. Just to mention we were the only ones who were rejected to enter the club. My friend started screaming and swearing at them in Russian and I, under the influence of prosecco and white wine, started laughing like a crazy lady. I could not believe, one night in seven years I decide to go out to dance and the one club who lets everybody in rejects me. It was so hilarious that it took me some time to grasp what happened. We than sat for another glass of wine in Irish pub and then the wine and two thirty in the morning started getting to me. My friend was already calling a cab for another club but I was out. I begged her to take me home. For me it was the sign from above. Although I am still not sure if my husband may have called the club not to let me in and to send me home.

The whole next day I was recovering. And then I started to think - why was I banned from a club who let every single person in that night for two hours we were around that place. Then I started to remember the girls standing in line. Everyone of them wore a dress, had a push up braw and a big cleavage. They saw that they could not earn money on a girl buttoned up with no heels and all in black. On the more positive side my friend and me like to think we just looked too young for the club.

I still did not give up, I will definitely try it again, at least I got an amazing fun night with my friend. I just need to settle with her that for me after three am I don't function anymore so we'll stick more to vine and beer night in a smaller club. I leave the dance floor to young, busty, Russian ladies in short dresses and high heels....

Moscow rules - Just one of those positive summer days!!!

You know how when you were 6 or 7 years old you admired some professions. For me it was Ballet. I still remember seeing the first ballet Giselle in Croatian theatre. I really admired the dancers, the way these ballerinas move, walk.... I dreamed I would become one or at least meet one. But as dreams change, during time, there were some other dreams that came in and the ballerina dream stayed a part of my childhood.

But now I feel like somebody had thrown me back 20 years. I actually met a real Ballerina. Seems so funny when I write it, but I really felt so excited seeing that, despite my horrible Russian, she also wants to hang out with me. It is amazing how some things you dreamt as a kid just disappear and then just a few reminders and you feel like six again.
So I met her when she was substituting my daughters ballet  teacher, we exchanged numbers and that is how little by little our Russian coffees started. So today was a huge day for me. She invited me to see a Bolshoi ballet main rehearsal. I don't know if she was more surprised or worried seeing me so excited. Just like a 6 year old. For me it was like making a dream come true for a kid in me, still hiding somewhere in the back. Just to see first row the performance, to come through foyer where they train, to sit at her make up table it was really the best day for my childhood dream.

And these are the things which make Moscow so thrilling, at any corner something new and exciting can happen. Moscow is so huge, if you are willing to open yourself and try to get out of expat communities and women clubs you actually meet great Russian people and some great Estonian, Moroccan gals, so open and friendly that after living here for four different seasons of one year I can surely say we belong.

There are still some things we don't know but learn on the way. I would never think that shoe sizes in Russia are different than Europe. If you are a 37 in Europe in Russia you are 36, So imagine me trying to ask for a wrong shoe size and at the same time wrongly saying in Russian I need bigger size (the seller actually understood that the ones I am trying are too big) so I had to learn it the hard way - after trying to fit into size 34 - better stop, think and ask. Not to become Cinderella's bad stepsister with cut off toes.

And then, like out of nowhere, the other day someone asked me - After nearly one year in Moscow which country and town do you actually call home? It was a valid question and, me being me, started answering without thinking. I think I confused him but after giving my answer for five minutes I came to a pretty fine conclusion. Home is everywhere you feel you have closest people living close to you. To tell you the truth this question took me so much by surprise, that for the last hour I am trying to remember who asked me this?!

Still don't remember even after proofreading this article and uploading photos. Hope it was not just a dream?!

Ordinary family in thrilling Moscow: Back to school?!

Ordinary family in thrilling Moscow: Back to school?!: You all know, especially the ones with school kids, it is end of the school year. So why the hell am i talking about back to school?!...

Back to school?!

You all know, especially the ones with school kids, it is end of the school year. So why the hell am i talking about back to school?! Well this year it was actually back to school for me.

I was one of the mothers who said i would never do homework with my kids. Ha, joke was on me. This year not just that my daughter started real school for the first time but it was in another country, in another system and in the language in which she could only say - how do you do.

First selection was done according to - which schools have additional english courses, so my 6 year old has assistance in learning the language in order to be able to follow curriculum.

The choice fell on English international school - west campus. And now, at the end of the year I can tell you it was the best possible choice. My daughter is not really open, but first day of school she just took the teachers hand and went into the class. My son on the other hand was mesmerised by his teacher. His group is called Pirates and still today he thinks that his teacher goes to his pirate boat in the evening and sails distant seas! And he constantly wants me to give him my necklace so he can bring the treasure to his pirate teacher.

The only problem there was - Me. First week my daughter came from school with math word problems. Oh horror. It is the thing that makes me look really dumb, like i don't know even how to spell my name when i see these tasks. But i had to show her its 'easy peasy'. So we sat down and started slowly. I pretended I don't understand a thing (actually not understanding a thing) and she taught me. It worked like a charm. So after full year of her teaching me i can say i grew over my fobia and can even perform all tasks she needs to know for school, with the help of google translate by my side!

The whole school environment helped a lot, since it is a small school, kids mingle with eachother, help eachother no mater which age or year they are. Unlike schools in croatia a lot is done to develop individual thinking, presenting, performing. The kids in the class do not feel they know more or less than others. They are rewarded for good choices they do. What i would do to have had same experience when I was kid. It would at least have helped me to have more courage and do things although they seemed undoable. I really believe they will be able to know what where to find and have the courage to say what they think. And in my opinion this is crucial for their happy future.

Ordinary family in thrilling Moscow: What is Russian babushka and how to survive Banya?...

Ordinary family in thrilling Moscow: What is Russian babushka and how to survive Banya?...: When in Russia, there are few things you MUST experience - Russian Babushka and Russian Banya. We were told that without accepting and e...

What is Russian babushka and how to survive Banya?!

When in Russia, there are few things you MUST experience - Russian Babushka and Russian Banya. We were told that without accepting and experiencing these it is like you have never seen real Russia.

Surviving Banya

So, when our friends came it was the best opportunity to try Banya (something like Turkish sauna but worse). My husband already tried the traditional, male banya. Gathering of a lot of guys in one small room full of steam, beating each other with branches. Ok when he explained how it looks, first I thought, good that women can't do it  and rather go for traditional - going out, dancing and drinking. But talking to different people we heard there are private Banyas, where you rent a full house for yourself and enjoy with the kids. At first we thought, renting a full house, how can we afford it. But actually when we called, it sounded really affordable divided on seven of us, so we booked it. 

It was near the centre, a gated compound with eight to ten of these houses. They are all wooden and entering there you feel like you came to some village in the middle of the city. The house had two floors, 1st floor with banya and dining table and second floor with billiard room and two rooms with beds. Outside was a pool at 19 degrees and a huge pot with water at 40 degrees.

And then my son came running from the top floor cuddling two pillows. The images that went through my head were ten people having a party at the place and you cold imagine my thoughts how they used the two rooms with beds and pillows. I took the pillows form him and convinced him that the cold pool is the best option otherwise he goes to the steam room.

On one screen in the room there was a promotional video about the Banya and they showed 'Parenie'. you rent a guy to come and 'beat' you (not actually beat) with branches in the banya.  The guys on the promotional movie were tall, well built and you really trusted them to know what they were doing. So we ordered a guy to come. Well, Russians are good at promotional movies. The guy that came was small, thin, but I convinced myself that he must be a professional.

It is a great massage, if you are able to survive it. In fact, with these branches the guy moves the hot air and steam all over your body. In the end it took me some time to stop the dizziness, but after few minutes you feel reborn and refreshed. I was astonished that even my seven years old daughter enjoyed it.

After four hours of eating, drinking and steaming I can tell you it is great way to spend time with the whole family, highly recommend it.

Babushka lesson

They say you have to know a real Russian Babushka. How you recognise her. Old lady, strict, shouting at you in the street, that you should dress your kid better because it is cold and she is not related to you in any way! We finally met one on a bus ride. 

Kids under seven don't need to pay for public transport. My daughter just passed that limit but my son still rides for free. So when we entered a bus we were so fast that we slid the ticket for all four of us. As we were riding a bus a strict looking, serious lady approached us and asked 'Who speaks Russian!'. I have to admit I got a bit scared and wanted to hide under the seat but got a little bit of courage and said that I understand a bit. She started shouting at me: ' Why did you use the ticket for your kids. They can ride for free. Save your money, don't spend it on things you don't need to. What, You say she is above seven (looking at my daughter), then say she is six !' I was astonished, here was this Russian lady, who saw me for the first time in her life, giving me advice how to cheat properly in Russia. From that day I love Babushka!!!!